Should I?

wow I can't believe I came back after 5 days. I read a note the past few weeks and it changed me a lot. Previously I'm very sure how i felt for you, ofcoz I felt the same to you like before just, it made me asked myself "Is it worth doing all these?". Basically I'm holding on to something that I haven't got. You see, what I'd get as a feedback from you by treating you nice? The note says "Are you sure you're willing to sacrifice everything even though the one you loved will not respond to you? If yes then why are you sad?" I blacked out when I saw that line. I hesitated. Should I? Or shouldn't I? The past few months I've been sad, down and emo for countless times and I'm still blur by doing everything for you like crazy, but this 1 line, woke me. But, when I'm with you the feeling is still there just, I wouldn't gave too much hope to myself like what I usually did which may probably make me disappointed like hell. See? You seriously influenced me alot. What am I suppose to do in my life to hold your palms? What if there's no more YOU's in my life? I couldn't imagine those garbagey life. But nevermind, I'll just enjoy what I have now, with you in it :D

- Jenn - There's still a part of me that will always be in love with you.

hi again bloggie..

Last Post: January 30th

WTF? It's been more than 8 months I've dumped this blog. Poor thing, but I seriously have not much things so say though. But, today I came with something for my bloggie. Nothing special actually. One word - Friendship.

I couldn't really understand this word sometimes, although it is important to me. But why do people tend to ignore or even isolate it? The thing is, when you see it so important and you gave in all you had but no one tend to appreciate your pay outs? sacrifices? Whatever. A single misunderstand causes so much problem which are not suppose to happen between good friends like us. Sometimes I wonder is it worth doing these for yall. I do wonder, but, I....did not do it. After all these, what I've get for the feedback is way more worst than I've imagined. All I wanted is just a bunch of friends that I can share things with each and everyone of you. But things just got even worse than I've thought. Do I deserve all these? Maybe I do. Is it my fault? I'm very sorry then, don't blame yourself...what? Yea I'm so Great. How sarcastic.

- Jenn - basically blaming myself.

my 1st post..

Why do some people can hang out with their cousins so often?
Why can't I?
Why can't they?
sometimes I really don't understand those parents..
as if their bird brains are been stucked by SHIT.
SHIT SHIT. PURE BLOODY SHIT.
even if they LOCK their child at home
you can't guaranty they'll stay at their 'home sweet home' when they became adults.
REAL ADULTS I mean, or maybe Teens.
and once their out of their "Jail"..they will come home, LESS.
let's not go off my topic though..
I don't have any siblings..
I'm LONELY..sometimes..even if I deny from your questions previously.
but I admit..now x)
so, my cousins are quite important to me.
hanging out with them just like hanging out with my friends is MY DREAM COME TRUE.
and recently, I've been planning it..I was looking foward to it..
and then..something happened..
that shit-stucked-bird brain just won't permit IT'S child.(my cousins)
that bird even scolded someone, as if IT is the GOD of the house (DOG u say? xD)
IT thought everyone listens to it!!
who did you think you are?? KING OF THE JUNGLE?? THE GREAT MUFFASA OF LION KING??
NO, you're just a tweeny weeny selfish lil bird. shit-stucked-bird I mean. sorry I left that.
fine, I don't wanna talk about this now cause it's seriously affecting my emotions.

Reminder of the day,
Jenn, just don't give too much hope to yourself because you'll be so damn shitty disappoint straight towards hell.